Lisa Leonard Designs

ache.

July 1st | older posts

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On the plane to Seattle, I was surprised to find myself feeling sad. I began to wonder if it will be harder to have get-aways in the future. I let myself wonder what it would be like if David was a typical six year old boy. I let my chest ache with a mix of missing him and relief at getting a break.

Then I reminded myself what a blessing he is and how much joy he adds to every day of our lives. His sweet disposition and simple happiness permeate our home. The time away was good for me. I needed some rest. I needed to reconnect with Steve. And, I think I needed to ache a little, too.

19 Responses

  1. Laura and the family says:

    It brought my tears because I have been there a few times when I was away from my two boys, especially with my younger ones. Your son knows that he is being loved by you, and knows you need a break every once in a while.

  2. hannah m says:

    Oh, you’ve done it again – the tears are falling down my face.

    Thank you for your words. I needed to read them today.

  3. Rays Family says:

    Amen Lisa, I know exactly how you felt. It sure helps knowing we’re not alone.

    Anne

  4. Melissa. says:

    Be encouraged, Lisa. You are such an amazing Mother to David. I love to read about you loving them.

  5. Becoming Me says:

    Oh, that post really caught my heart. Beautifully written.

  6. Debbie says:

    I have the ache too, on occassion. I try not to wonder what life would be like if Addi was typical because that just makes the ache hurt more. She is who she is, and God doesn’t make mistakes.
    Beautifully written!

  7. Carolina Mama says:

    So sweet! You are perfect for him. I too feel that remorese missing my boys if I am ever away. ;) Blessings on you for your balance and enjoying your journey with David, etc.

  8. Pinkalicious says:

    Please know that you are not alone in your feelings. I often look at other four year olds and think about my daughter’s size. I think that is normal…..and it doesn’t mean we love our children less or that we would trade our children for anyone else.

    I am glad you were able to get away.

    Sara Koppes

  9. Stephanie says:

    I agree. It’s good to get away to realize and appreciate what you have. It’s so easy to take these things for granted.

    You are so blessed!

  10. little dresses says:

    I just stumbled on your blog tonight and I was just enchanted with your sweet boy’s smile! You have a beautiful family. We all need a break sometimes mama. I’m saving you to my favorites!

    xoxox,
    Samantha

  11. CraftyMomOf2 says:

    Hi Lisa-

    I’m a new reader to your blog and I came to you via Melissa The Mouth’s blog. (I love her!)

    Firstly – your designs are GORGEOUS and I cannot WAIT to order a necklace!!

    But more importantly – I am so deeply touched by your blog. Your words, your beautiful photography and your overall perspective and vibe is just amazing. You now have one more faithful reader.

    Thanks for sharing.

    Fondly-

    Meredith Winston

  12. dae says:

    hi, i found your blog via confessions of a cf husband and i’ve been hooked ever since.

    i love your photography and your writing – it is so evocative and beautiful.

    keep using those God-given gifts! :)

  13. Kristin says:

    What a touching, heart-felt post… I can really resonate with the wide range of feelings you described – the ache, the missing him, the joy… so very real and so very true. (((HUGS)))!
    Kristin
    http://homegrownrose.typepad.com/reclaimingthehome

  14. kc says:

    I’m sure glad to know I’m not alone on this feeling. I look forward to the rare occasion that my husband and I can actually have a few days to ourselves, but then I find myself missing our little boys the entire time. :) I guess that’s just part of being a Mom.

  15. Christine says:

    Ahhh, you’ve touched my heart once again. You are an amazing woman, mother and friend. So many woman are touched daily by your sweet honest heart. Thank you so much for being so vulnerable and showing your weakness. Its helps everyone know that we are all the same, different people, different lives but we are the same.

    I’ve been away from my daughter for 4 months now doing my treatments. Its been the hardest, longest 4 months of my life. I can’t wait to get back to her and I know my appreication will be so much stronger after being away and missing those mommy duties.

    Thank you again… I needed that awareness. Much Love

  16. Sarah Markley says:

    it’s so hard to ache…but sometimes needed.

    btw, i won the weekly contest at creative construction. =) thought i’d let you know.

  17. Carolyn says:

    Aw, that really touched me. Thanks for sharing that and reminding this mom that it is ok to want to have a break. It’s obvious your son brings your family so much joy and happiness!

  18. BnonB says:

    It is so hard to leave your kids, even when you’re thrilled to have a break. I am trying to accept the conflicting feelings as a part of being a mom. It’s definitely hard to reconcile them however. I keep trying to, and keep trying to make the guilt go away too.

  19. Gretchen says:

    Lisa,

    I’ve purchased one of your necklaces recently for a friend, and hopped on your site and decided to look at your blog. What an incredible writer you are. Your sweet sensitivity fairly leaps off the screen. I ache with you. I too have a David–mine’s 12. Just turned 12 this month. My David is also not a typically developing Bell curve kid. Yes, we are gifted with these incredible little souls. And, yes, the joy outweighs the pain. However, I don’t think we’d be good moms if we didn’t ache from time to time.

    Anyway, you’ve blessed me so, and my friend hasn’t taken off her necklace except to shower–it was a memorial necklace, and she cherishes it.

    Would it be okay if I linked to your blog?

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