one wish

When David was a couple of years old, my sister asked me, “If you had one wish, what would it be?” My first thought was, David wouldn’t have a disability. But then I tried to imagine David without his disability. He wouldn’t look the same or act the same. He wouldn’t be small or spunky in the same way. He wouldn’t have his sweet little button nose or his huge carefree grin. If I woke up one morning and David didn’t have a disability I wouldn’t recognize him. And he wouldn’t be my David, my sweet boy, whom I love with all that I am.

In that moment I sat there completely baffled. Of course David’s disability brings many challenges, but when I realized I wouldn’t change it because I love David–just the way he is, it made me feel hopeful.It made me want to stop wishing things were different and embrace the way they are. Life is full of imperfections, isn’t it? But there is beauty to be found. Even in the darkness and the muck there are little rays of light. I want to focus on the beauty and not waste time wishing away the hard stuff.

So if I had one wish, what would I wish for? I think I’d wish for contentment. That’s where my heart finds peace.

53 comments

  1. I love this post! I feel the exact same way about my sweet boy! I often find myself wishing for Noah to be healthy as can be so that I can spend many more years enjoying his beautiful imperfections! Kisses to your sweet boy who makes my heart happy every time I see a photo of him! And big hugs to your other angel baby who is as handsome as can be!

  2. This reasonates with me so much. Our oldest child has Down syndrome and when he was pretty young, so “friends” shared they were praying for him to be released from his disability and be a typical little boy. I was so shocked. I only knew him as he was – funny and smart, and adorable and so incredibly kind and perceptive. So much more! And it was at that moment I knew I wanted him just as he was. He’s such a blessing and joy!

  3. It is a hard thing…to see your child being challenged in this life…. as a parent of a child who has a disability…but invisible to the eye, I understand the need for contentment. Sometime I just what to say….wait don’t treat him like that…you don’t understand….or saying to myself but he will never have this…..but…he does fine, he has found his way and he is happy…and he is loved.
    yes, contentment is peace.
    Thank you

  4. Reading this took my breath away and gave me chills. What a beautiful reminder to trust in the perfection of this place…

  5. Thank you for this beautiful perspective… Whenever I ‘wish’ for the issues that we have with our second son’s health to go away, I am reminded of all that those issues and circumstances have taught me… And I wouldn’t trade the growth/faith/victory God has brought as a result for anything in the world. Thank you for sharing your heart!

  6. Beautifully said! I know I struggle with just being content. We can’t always change what surrounds us but we can certainly change how we see it. I need to remind myself of this constantly. You have a beautiful family Lisa!

  7. I often think the same, I wouldn’t change my disabled daughter either, I have kept this to myself thinking nobody would understand, I’m happy I’m wrong x x

  8. just beautiful! a couple years ago, I was so discontent with EVERYTHING. My wonderful friend told me “Bloom where you are planted” every time I felt that discontentment creeping up I would repeat that affirmation and contentment finally took hold and it was wonderful and beautiful! to this day I still use it when it rears its ugly head.

  9. This makes me think of how Mister Rogers always says “You are special just by being you.” How affirming it is for each of us — even us grown-ups — to know.

  10. So well put. Also makes me think of what my friend Sarah (from Little Penelope Lane) says about her daughter. That you don’t have to wish for a happy and healthy baby. Just a happy one. Because, she wouldn’t change her daughter having her disability either. Then she wouldn’t be the same girl!

  11. What a beautiful post. There is a reason David was sent to you from God…He knew you would be the best mama. He is yours. 🙂

  12. Lisa,
    Beautiful. Tearful. And just so, so perfect. I’ve mentioned my son, Blake, on here before and how he was born with kidney disease. He is two and we are trying to find a donor for him. Anyway, I try to imagine life without a feeding tube in his stomach and his dialysis catheter. Just like David is David, Blake IS Blake. It’s what makes them the special little boys that they are. Bless you!!!

  13. This post just pierced my heart like an arrow. Absolutely loved it…I can relate. Thank you for sharing.

  14. I would wish for this new job that I’m up for because it would give me a little bit more of a salary so maybe we could stop living paycheck to paycheck…. That would give me contentment, not panicking over where the money for (daycare, electric bill, groceries) is coming from this week.

    1. I hope you get the job, Shannon! “Seek first the Kingdom of God & all else will be added to you.” Thanks Shannon!

  15. This is a beautiful post, and something a lot of closed-minded people could really do to read.
    My wish would be to find a decent job once I graduate in a couple of months, so that my boyfriend can do the degree he’s not had opportunity to do for the last ten years and we can start saving to buy a house and support a family.

  16. Great post! Contentment is a wonderful feeling!

    My wish would be a selfish one. I want to be a stay at home mom. I have wanted it since the day I found out I was pregnant (over 8 years and 2 kids ago). My youngest is going to kindergarten this year and I feel like I have missed everything. I didnt even get real maternity leave. Only a little over 3 weeks home with my son because I used all my paid leave on bed rest and although I was off 6 weeks for my daughter I was very sick and didnt even touch her for about 4 of those weeks. (spent several days in the hospital with pneumonia and other infections) I will never have the opportunity to get that time back. I am a wreck thinking about it. I had to choose working because I am pretty sure feeding them is more important than staying home with them. My husband is working very hard to make our wish a reality but barring a miracle we are still many years away.

    1. That is difficult Tai! Cherish the moments you have with them and make them special. God knows the desires of your heart! xo

    2. Hi Tai
      I know what you are feeling, I went through a similar situation, feeling so sick about not being able to spend time with my boys because I had to work to feed them. Then the Miracle happened! (always when you least expect them).
      I agree with Lisa, cherish the time with them, and know that God knows what you desire.
      🙂

  17. Of all the options, you chose contentment. Wow! What a great lesson. You’re making me think what I would say. Inner peace?

  18. Oh, this is good.
    There are a few things in my life right now, that I wish I could change. In fact, I laid in bed last night asking the Lord TO change them and make things different. Perhaps I should begin to look for the beauty inside the situation instead of desperately trying to rearrange it.

    Thank you, Lisa!

  19. I too have a special needs child and for a long time I wished for her to not be disabled and to be able to run and use her hands and talk to me with her mouth not a computer. But as time marches on I cannot imagine my life any other way, although some days I wish that going to Target did not take triple the time. Thank you for sharing!!

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