you’re not pretty enough

Oh, friends.
It’s been a bit of rough week emotionally. Nothing huge going wrong but I feel discouraged. I’m tired, irritated and I feel like a failure.

I went to take pictures of my outfit on Sunday and heard the voice in my head telling me, “You’re not pretty enough.”. It also tells me, “You’re not a good mom. You’re disorganized. You always screw up.” It’s exhausting. and it’s all lies.

It’s easy to want to combat those lies for each other with messages like, “You’re so pretty!” or “You’re a great mom!”. But the those don’t really get to the heart of the matter either. The bottom line is–those things don’t determine my value. It doesn’t matter how pretty I am or how much I weigh. Even if I’m grumpy and mean and short-tempered with my kids. These things don’t determine my value. It’s my heart, uniquely created to be mine, that makes me ME and makes me lovable.

And it’s your heart that makes you YOU.

Let’s love each other and give each other grace today. Even when I’m smiling on the outside, I might be hurting on the inside. I hope I’m not the only one who feels that way sometimes.

It’s Wednesday and I’m linking up with Lindsey at The Pleated Poppy for some fashion inspiration. And hoping together we can find even deeper inspiration and hope today.

Outfit details: Jeans, Big Star via Zappos. Olive green tee, Target. Sweater jacket, Anthropologie. Nude heels, Target. Bag, H&M. Cuff, My shop. Earrings, My shop.

Happy New Year’s Eve, friends! I am sending you love today. Tomorrow begins a brand new year. A chance to love each other {an ourselves} in a more whole way. And that is a beautiful thing!

54 comments

  1. Not pretty enough? Geesh… YOU were created in the image of God which makes you PERFECT! You are EXACTLY how God created you! BELIEVE you are a princess… because you are the daughter of the KING!
    xoxo

    P.S. Don’t let the enemy in! ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. Lisa, I’ve never commented before but I want you to know that when I read your blog or come across your Instagram pics, you totally inspire me to be a better person. When I see your posts, I’m amazed at how real you are with your readers/followers and it’s just humbling to know that despite all the challenges in life, you’re still finding the beauty in it. It inspires me to do the same. Yes, words can be just words, and they don’t always get to the heart of the problem; but it never hurts to keep telling yourself you’re a beautiful person inside and out no matter what. Love from KC, Erin

  3. This post was just what I needed to hear today. Even though this was last week, I’ve heard those voices before and recently. Thanks for being honest and encouraging. You have a gift. Your posts always offer perspective.

    Happy New Year!

  4. Yes, we all hear those words in our head. It’s too bad we don’t look in the mirror that others see us through. You are amazingly beautiful! Thank you for sharing your heart that is so very genuine.
    donna

  5. I think you are fabulous! You inspire so many, including myself. I don’t think it’s humanly possible not to have those kinds of feelings on occasion. We ALL do, and it’s just important to make sure to remember that they are fleeting, and just a part of life. Look at the big picture, and think about the positive things happening daily too!
    You are beautiful inside and out!!

  6. I’d like to remind you what an inspiration you are to others, you’ve handled what life throws at you with grace and style. I recently had a bi-lateral mastectomy due to breast cancer, and while I feel ugly and maimed on the outside, I am reminded by your posts that it really is what’s on the inside that counts. My spirit and my heart are intact, even if my body isn’t. Hang in there Lisa!

  7. such truth here. your love for your children makes you beautiful. your love for your husband and family makes you beautiful. your love for your creator makes you beautiful. your love for all things creative makes you beautiful. thats just it… its love that makes each of us beautiful. and you are full of that. thanks for sharing your love with us.

  8. you are amazing, beautiful, creative, timeless, loving momma, supporting wife and your worth is FAR ABOVE RUBIES.
    I count you as a real woman who like all of us has good and bad days, but I love that you don’t hide them and are real with us.
    Many blessings on you friend!
    xoxo
    Lori Barre
    facebook friend ๐Ÿ™‚

  9. Lisa,
    I first came to your website because of your jewelry line (which I LOVE, btw!), but I have STAYED because of your heart! The way you are so open, and honest, and gentle, and kind shines through your words, and inspires me to become a better person. I know it’s so very hard when the world shouts “YOU ARE NOT ENOUGH!” to listen to the still, small voice of God’s Holy Spirit telling us “My Daughter, you ARE enough in Me”. I am praying that both of us (well, really everyone!) will be able to concentrate on God’s truths more fully as we tell the lying voices to go to hell (because that’s where they’re from).
    Happy 2015 to you and your sweet family!

  10. You’re authenticity and transparency is appreciated. As I scanned the comments, it’s true that a lot of us out there battle those voices. I read a book awhile back (sorry I can’t remember the title), but what struck me the most was the author’s idea to say, “in Jesus’ name” after negative self-talk. When I remember to do that ๐Ÿ™‚ I’m always amazed how quickly I negate that negative (does that count as a double negative? Ha!).

    Thank you again for your blog for so many, many reasons!

    God bless you and your family this New Year!

  11. Lisa, make one of those cuffs that says “you are pretty” or “you are the BEST mom” then whenever you look down you will always be reminded that you are as good as you need to believe!

    Happy New Year!

  12. Your thought really struck me. Just saying “You are pretty!” is not the core thing, and it’s the most common way I try to help people with. But – and this is what struck me – it’s not helpful.

    Thank you for sharing! This was an eye-opener for me.

  13. What I have always told my child growing up, only listen to the love.. Especially important when those negative moments rear up.
    You’re wonderful, talented, stylish, and from what I can see, fairly fabulous in the eyes of your family! And, btw, I love your hair pulled back! Happy new year!

  14. I am a firm believer in the fact that no matter what your “job” is…there are going to be some days when you wish you were doing something (anything) else! And when you have a bad day, you just have to take a minute and try to remember all the things you DO love about what you do/who you are…and usually…things don’t seem quite so bad. I am impressed with the way you seem to manage everything in your life….I don’t know if I could do it.
    Earlier today I saw this quote on a friend’s face book page…it seems to fit perfectly for this situation:
    “God calls you to exercise strength you don’t have and wisdom you don’t possess and then in grace provides you with both”.

  15. Awww, sweetie. Rest assured you are LOVED beyond measure. You are worth Jesus dying on the cross, you are worthy. I take notes every Sunday from Sermons and one lesson I wrote down: Don’t let satan’s voice be what you hear.
    I think you are one of the most beautiful women I ‘know’ and this beauty is not only outwardly but, most importantly it glows from the inside!!!

  16. Lisa, I love your heart and the way you so openly share on your blog. I’ve told myself these same lies over and over again. Then, I remind myself that I wouldn’t be friends with someone who treated me that way. We all need to be more kind to ourselves. Grace > guilt. God loves His kids! He created us and we are enough! John 10:10 “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” I wish you a full, joyful 2015! You are enough and you inspire so many. Love and hugs!

  17. You are definitely not the only one that feels that way. I’ve been living in that frame of mind for some time now. It’s been a really hard year. I’m glad it’s over in just a few short hours. Come on 2015!!

    Anyhoo…thank you for sharing. Makes me feel a little less alone.

  18. I love your openness and willingness to say what you are really feeling. I love your posts (and your jewelry!). I am a mom to a 12 yr old daughter with pretty severe mental illness and I often feel not good enough. These roads we are walking are so exhausting in every way. The God who created us and gave us this path to walk on will enable us to be “good enough” in His sight!! You are beautiful inside and out!

  19. I saw this thing on Tumblr. It said, “walk up to someone and tell them they’re ugly, a failure, and not good at what they do. You can’t right? You know those are hurtful things, so why would you daily them to yourself?” Remember that. You are beautiful human being.

  20. You are note alone! We all have times we feel this way. Thanks for always sharing honestly! You look beautiful in these pics!

  21. I am okay most of the time but once a month or so I look in the mirror and think, “O my God, I’m so fat and ugly, how can anyone bear to look at me! How can I not have noticed this before?” And even after years of this it always takes me a long time to remember that this *has* happened before, last month around this time, and that it will pass. But “just hormones” doesn’t do justice to the intensity of the feeling. Even though I know it’s a lie, it’s so hard to dismiss it.

    1. Absolutely right, Jessica. I’m just at the tail end of a week long bout of depression I get right after my period ends. I’ve learned that the more I try to dismiss it or push myself past it, the worse it gets. So I’ve learned to just ride the wave…as awful as it can feel.

  22. you are not alone. i believe everyone has days, weeks, months like this. our looks will fade over time, can change in a second due to situations out of our control. but our hearts – our true intentions stay the same if we are true to ourselves. love your posts…and know that you are loved.

  23. We all have those days (or months) but you know that they are what they are- something that will pass. I think these are lovely pictures and hope your new year is bright.

  24. So know those voices, and you are so right about them, thank you. Yes, a new year with new mercies and new manna every single day. ๐Ÿ™‚

  25. My little guy is a Cubbie at Grace Church this year. It’s been such a privilege to watch as he practices his memory verses and figures out ways to make them stick in his brain. Frequently his neominic devices are grand arm movements. When I read your blog entry today, the first thing that popped into my head was the way in which my little dude’s big arms move as wide and high as they can when he recites Psalm 139:14–“I wiw PWAISE You because I am FEEW-fooey and wondoe-fooey made.” Sometimes when I’m feeling down, I have to meditate on that verse and the one that follows and let my heart soak in that truth. “MARVELOUS are Your works, and my soul knows it very well.” Wow. We are all marvelous creations, inside and out. And just FYI: you happen to be one of my in real life fashion inspirations. We’ve never met in person but I’ve been following your blog for several years now and I admire your transparency and your strength. Thank you for sharing your journey with us in Internet Land. You are a great source of encouragement for so many of us! Blessings to you and your family in this coming year!!

  26. Hi Lisa
    I’m sorry you’ve been having such a rough week. I can really relate to you and wanted to tell you that you aren’t alone. I have a chronically I’ll teenage daughter and it really, really take a toll on us mommies. It is exhausting, depressing and can crush your soul. We women are so hard on ourselves. I wish I had the magic answer of how not to be this way, but I don’t. I love your unique style and I think you are beautiful! It’s too bad we don’t see what others see. Right now, I weigh the most I ever have and I hate myself for letting this happen. I weigh 50 lbs more than I did on my wedding day over 20 years ago. I’m trying to cut myself some slack…caring for a child that has health struggles is HARD, really hard. You can’t understand it unless you’ve been there. Please cut yourself some slack, too. You have such talent with your jewelry, focus on that when you’re feeling “less than”. xoxo

  27. Oh Lisa, don’t let those voices lie to you. It’s nice to get reassurance from others sometimes. FYI, I love when you wear your hair back; I think it shows your beautiful eyes better. Don’t ever forget that you are an inspiration to so many. Hope you and your family have a very happy new year.

  28. Ugh, I feel that way all the time. I wish I could shut up those voices! Thanks for reminding me that those things I hate about myself aren’t the most important things.

  29. You are not alone. I hear the same exact lies. The enemy wants us to believe them. Expel them in the nane of Jesus! I hope in the New Year to really start believing what God says about me instead. I am ENOUGH. Pretty enough, smart enough, and I have His unfailing love forever. Hmmm, maybe we need a bracelet ใ€Šlike the BRAVE one which is on my wishlist!ใ€‹that says ENOUGH. โ™ก I think you are gorgeous.

  30. Thank you for being so real and honest, so refreshing! You make the rest of us feel like it’s ok that we’re all just doing our best and learning to love ourselves for it. Love your posts!

  31. Your heart is the most beautiful thing about you. It has been redeemed by Christ. You have been redeemed and are very much loved by the Lord. Psalm 139 is a favorite of mine and wonderful to meditate on when I have low times, as we all do.

  32. First of all, Lisa, you gorgeous…don’t listen to any voices that say otherwise. I listened to these same messages when I stayed home with my three kids. I think it does have something to do with fatigue, but I also think we put ourselves on the back burner in order to take care of family. I know I did…I did not have a blog at that time, or take care of myself like you obviously do. You are on the right track to do these things for yourself so that you can serve your family better. Do not listen to those voices …just keep on keeping on. It appears you are doing a great job!

  33. Oh Lisa, thank you for being so authentic. It’s that honesty and vulnerability that is so beautiful. You are not alone. We all feel this way inside sometimes. I wish you a very happy new year full of love — not just for and from others, but for yourself as well. It is, as you said, your heart that makes you YOU, and your heart shines so brightly on the world around you. Thank you. Happy New Year!

  34. You’re beautiful. God doesn’t make junk. The parenting, organizing, weight, fashion… it all comes and goes. It’s seasonal. But God’s creating is timeless. He never makes a mistake. He never “takes it back.” He created you on purpose… just as you are.

    (You can’t tell yourself those things, but sometimes we still need to hear them. Love Holley Gerth’s books, and Jennifer Dukes Lee’s book to remind me of that… and of course – God’s Word… straight from His heart to mine!)

    Happy New Year!

  35. i recently created a “Celebrate” board where I put post-it’s of different parts me me that I want to celebrate each day. As the post its add up, it helps me remember my value as a complete, complex person. Give it a try!

  36. YOU are not Alone! I can only speak for myself, but I’m sure it’s safe to say that we have all felt like that for an hour, a day, weeks and some sad to say for months on end. Some days life is just hard, even when we know that there are people out there who wish they had our problems, our issues or the feelings of doubt, failure and how ugly we feel. I hold your hand, and here’s a hug. Together we are strong, even if only together in heart and spirit. Much love * Lisa Michele Walton

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *